Letting Go

Sometimes the hardest decisions, are also the easiest ones.  It's a strange place to be when you can so clearly see both sides.

I had been holding out hope that I'd still be able to run the Victoria Marathon, or at least the half.  I would get to 3K on my treadmill and somehow think it was doable.  But the reality is, I'm scared to run after my kids, I'm afraid to run outside, and sometimes taking that first step after a walk break on the treadmill feels alot like "oh sh*t, what might happen?"

I had had two successful runs this past week with no pain.  I started incorporating a knee brace, and with that on, ran a 5K and then two days later a 7K.  But yesterday, I did my run walk, and had pain at 6.5, then again at 7.5.  I made it 8K before I shut the treadmill off.  I tried picking up my phone to cancel our hotel, but just couldn't do it.  Not because I was overly upset, it was just something too big for me to do.  So I had my hubby do it.  I sat and stretched while he cancelled our flights and our room.  I just needed to have that weight off of my shoulders.  These crazy distances looming there that I thought somehow I could acheive.

And with that lifted, I have nothing else on the calendar other than Winterstart in Banff, which is a 5 miler.  Easy enough that I can walk, and I'm there with a girlfriend, so will have company along the route.

I have learned alot this past Summer, and credit alot of it to my knee injury, but also to watching Ironman Whistler.  I was humbled by the marathoners, who after a swim, and bike, AND in grueling conditions, made that marathon look "easy".  When you attend a marathon on it's own, there is carnage everywhere near the end.  Not at the Ironman.  And I clearly saw that there is a better way to train.  I took a swim class in August through our city, swimming twice a week working on stroke improvement.  And I got onto my bike and started cycling at least once a week.  I've incorporated yin yoga, and just recently some pilates to focus on my core.  On top of all that I'm doing my physio exercises and icing my knee.  Truth to be told, I'm more active now than when I was just logging long distances.

With Vic off the table, I'll be cancelling my physio appointments, and taking time to just BE.  I'll be doing all I wrote above, and running no more than 5K's.  I might even take the next few weeks off.  It's also two days from my 36th birthday, so I've been reflecting on what some of my yearly goals will be.  With rehabilitation in mind, here how I hope to approach things:

1.  Take time off running until I no longer hear a click in my knee going up stairs.
2.  Get to the point that without thinking, I freely chase after my kids (right now, I'm scared to run after them at all).
3.  Once those two are hit, back on the treadmill and see how the knee is fairing.
4.  Get back outside and running on the road.
5.  Get stronger and faster at swimming.  I've taken out a Y membership so I can swim twice a week while my littlest is at preschool.  I am right now doing 1K in 1 hr.  I'd like to see that get faster, and I'd like to improve my endurance on my front crawl.
6.  Try out a cycling class.  Tricky due to timing, but I'd like to find a way to give it a go.
7.  Try a triathlon in the Spring.  I've looked at the Strathmore Diva Run or the Vulcan Tin Man.  I don't have a road bike so need a nice introduction, with a run no longer than 5K as I don't know where my knee will be at.
8.  Maybe, maybe, thinking a year away to next Fall, maybe a half will be possible.  Maybe not.  Not clinging too tightly to that as a goal.  Maybe a distant wish.  Time will tell.

I've had some say (and even myself) that my family has had a really crappy year.  It is true that it could be looked at that way.  But there is a positive lining to everything, and I have learned alot about myself, my family, my friends, and I truly feel blessed to see the world the way I see it now.

School starts back up here on Tuesday, and hopefully I'll be in this space more often!

Exciting Knitting Announcement!

This blog has lately been filled with a lot of running.  Fairly enough since training for a marathon is an almost full time consuming passion.  HOWEVER, I do still find some time to fit in some stitches.

When my youngest daughter potty trained, I quickly changed her diaper basket into a knitting basket, and it sits nicely at the end of our couch.  One project started, another one joined it, (and another), and quickly it was near overflowing.  I've been working hard to empty the basket (mostly because I really want to cast on a pair of socks).

My eldest daughter turned 8 a week ago, and I ordered some special yarn from the US to make her a ballet shrug.  More often than not she would be cold at ballet class during the winter so this seemed like a great solution.  The pattern search however was not.  Knitting patterns are not cheap, and lately pattern price seems to have taken another leap.  Some costing anywhere from $6-$10.  I don't mind spending the money if I know I will use the pattern more than once, but likely for a kids pattern like a shrug, I won't.  A little daunted, I set about altering this adult pattern.  One I have knit for myself.  Calculations set, I cast on, and.... it worked!  It fits her like a charm, and I even had enough yarn to make the arms full length and with thumb holes (because who doesn't love thumb holes?)

One down in the basket.

Next in the basket was a capelet for my Mom.  I started this project for her 60th birthday.... two years ago.  Gosh wow seriously.  I was having knitting guilt everytime I passed out a finished project and it wasn't hers.  That included Christmas gifts, birthday gifts.  It was becoming a knitterly heavy burden.  Ballet shrug done, I picked that capelet back up, and cast it off this past weekend. It's beautiful, but I am glad to not see another p5tog for a while (that means purling 5 stitches together.  A feat that my needles are not very fond of).

Finally (and here comes the annoucement), is my icelandic sweater.  I finished up the arms this past weekend and have joined the arms to the body, so only have the yoke to go.  I'm excited to be entering it into the Western Showcase.  Every year at the Calgary Stampede,there is an art showcase tucked away in the corner of one of the buildings, wonderfully placed by the wine pavillion.  There are paintings, quilts, cakes, and oh yes, knitting and crochet.  Two (?) years ago I entered in two of my knits.  I loved seeing them on display and even won a ribbon.  The icelandic sweater is pretty unique in that the yarn is actually from iceland, as is the pattern, and I made a number of alterations on it to have a proper fit.  When I realized a couple of weeks ago I could have it completed to submit, I became determined to get it done.  I checked the brochure this morning and I have about a month left to get er done.

Once the sweater is complete, I will have a cowl left in my basket, and then SOCKS.  That should correspond nicely to the start of summer, where knitting socks is a wonderful light project.

What do you have in your basket right now?

BMO Vancouver Marathon Race Review

I've been home for a week now since running the BMO Marathon, and have already laced back up my shoes twice to run!

I was in the 4th corral.  They did a countdown for each corral to start.  I had batman in mine!

Vancouver was more than expected.  Both in scenery, and also on the course.  It was a TOUGH run.  I've been trying to think about what made the course so difficult - the rolling hills? The major climb at the 8K mark, or perhaps the heat?  A friend texted me an article where an elite runner was being interviewed and he described the course as "rough".  Two other BMO finishers I saw in Calgary on Saturday said that they run it every year but saw more "carnage" this year.  

My favorite section of the course

Putting the difficulty aside, I cut a whopping 21 minutes off my Calgary finish time from not quite a year ago.  I finished in 4:27 laying out EVERYTHING I had on the course.  Physically, mentally, and emotionally.  It is the first time I hit a mental wall at only 19K and cried after crossing the finish line.  When I hit the mental wall, my calf was starting to seize up, and I could feel my hip flexor tensing.  Thankfully it came and went over the course and wasn't persistent.  Initially I was going to run without my phone but I was glad I did.  It came in very handy at 21K to start texting my girlfriend and my hubby to get some much needed mental support.  At 39K I was pretty sure the seawall would never end.  I was running without headphones (probably not a repeat at another 42K event), so I turned on the tunes on my phone.  I figured it would either also help the rest of the runners around me, or encourage them to run faster ha ha.  We rocked it out to Pat Benatars "Hit it with your best shot" to help get us to the end.

Hello ocean! 

So what brought down my time by 21 minutes?

Calgary:  Sometimes I only got in 2 runs a week
Vancouver: I ran a minimum of 3 times a week, usually 4 times a week

Calgary: All my runs were at the same pace
Vancouver: I incorporated both speed and hill training

Calgary: Some runs only saw 3.5K as a distance
Vancouver: My runs were a minimum of 5K

Calgary: No mid week long run
Vancouver: I had a mid week long run of at least 10K that I did steady, no walk breaks

Big difference heh?  This past January when I laced up my shoes to train for Van, it was the first time I actually trained for a race since 2006.  Training shows results!!!

I really went into Van wanting to see a 4:20, given my long run pace would have brought me in to that.  But race day played some different elements.  I was reading back through old posts, and saw in 2014 I wanted to run a 4:30 marathon again.  It gave me perspective (as well as LOTS of perspective graciously and lovingly given from friends and family).  A week post I'm owning my 4:27 and am looking at my training and thinking on what I can do to tick furthur minutes and seconds off.

My parents are awesome cheerleaders.  I saw them 4 times on the course!  This was marathon #6 they've cheered for me at!

Realistically I know I can't add any more runs or distance to my week, as I need to strike a balance with my family.  But what I can add in is on days I had previously taken off, add in a day of core or yoga.  Both would be good for me and might be fun for my kids to do with me.  My next Marathon is this coming fall and will also involve some rolling hills.  I'll be adding more hill repeats into rotation!

So true.

Thanks Vancouver.  It was a fun, hard, heart opening challenge.  I came away from it wanting to try it again, just to see if I can conquer some of the mental walls I faced.  One year I'll be back (and hopefully sooner than another 11 year jag!)

Yes!

A great marathon finishes at a Starbucks ;)

Final Weeks and the Mind Game

This past weekend I ran my longest run to date, but 2K short of what I will hit next weekend.  34 then 36.  It is now only 26 days until the Vancouver Marathon.  The realization of that last week gave me heart palpitations and set me into a pre race panic that only reaches a certain level when 42 kilometers are involved.  It's a feeling of fear, anticipation, excited and OMG I signed up for this??

A few kilometers into my 34K run.  Frosty this weekend but beautiful and quiet pathways.

Back in December I was having issues with my foot going numb after only 5K.  I have been running in Asics for over 10 years, and all of a sudden they weren't working.  Not the kayano, not the cumulus, not even their trail.  This crazy buy a shoe, try a shoe, return a shoe cycle began.  I was also having a glute issue on the opposite side that first surfaced at about kilometer 34 of the Calgary Marathon last June.  After some consultation with running friends and family I went to a chiropractor.  That was last month.  I started seeing her weekly, and the foot issues have resolved, I FINALLY have a shoe that works (I won't say love yet), and the glute issue has so far been laid to rest.  Really, all that is left is to focus on the distance - and overcoming the mental obstacles of what a marathon presents.

Sometimes it does feel like you run forever.  I was so excited to finally see the downtown core approaching.

Despite we put in so many weeks and miles into training, when the marathon approaches there is still this fear of "can I run this?"  As any race presents, you never know what will happen on race day.  The weather, the terrain, your body.  But other distances are a bit more acheivable.  You could run 10K and walk the next 11 to finish a half.  And I suppose that is true too for the marathon, but gosh the marathon distances breeds a bit of the insane.  The distance isn't for everyone, and I think those who sign up for it don't sign up to walk the last half.  We want to do our very best even if that means walking will be difficult for a week afterwards (and lets not discuss stairs).

So with the panic that set in last week, and a successful (yet tiring) 34K under my belt this past weekend, I feel as ready as really one can feel to get on that plane, get to Van, and get this done.

I have a brother running the full, another brother running the half, and my parents, sister in law, and my brothers girlfriend there to cheer us all on.  No doubt we are all going to rock our distances and race plans.

Done!

Look at that!  I'm running the route so much faster than last year!

 As for race plans, I have been running and thinking on it alot, and playing with race calculators.  I have a sensible goal in mind (I think) and if my legs can do it I'll push beyond that if I can.  My first marathon was a 4:12 and I would LOVE to see that again.  But realistically I ran a 4:48 in Calgary last June, and that's a HUGE chunk to take off.  We will see what happens.

Are you prepping for a big race?  How do you feel in the last few weeks before hand?

Muffin Monday

One of my resolutions this coming year (note I didn't use the word goal because this HAS to stick) is to make healthier snacks and meals for my family.  For a good chunk of time I was using a meal planner, and using flyers to buy things on sale and in bulk.  I rarely needed to make an emergency run to the store.  Sometime this past Fall, with the craziness of two kids in programs and a toddler underfoot, my planning slipped.  We started eating out more, I had more meals on the table I wasn't pleased with, and over the holidays I knew I wanted things to change.

Monday mornings are always spent at home, so I plan to make a fresh batch of muffins at the start of each week.  Muffins are great for school snacks, and also great for a quick add on to a breakfast.  I like my muffins less cake like, and more health focused.  I hope you enjoy the recipes I post here that I've baked for my family.

First up today, looking at what I had in my kitchen, I turned to a recipe that I could use apples with.  Here's what I found:

INGREDIENTS

For the apple muffins:

• 1½ cups finely chopped apples (I used Pink Lady // with peel is great!)
• ⅓ cup coconut oil
• 1 cup milk
• 2 teaspoons white vinegar
• ⅓ cup brown sugar
• 1 large egg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 cup all purpose flour
• 1½ cups whole wheat flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon baking powder (I used double acting)
• ½ teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon allspice

For the crunchy topping:

• 2 tablespoons butter
• 3 tablespoons white sugar
• ½ teaspoon cinnamon

INSTRUCTIONS

1. To prep ingredients: Microwave or heat the coconut oil until it's liquified. Repeat the same process for the milk to bring it to room temperature. (If you don't do this, the coconut oil will clump together when it mixes with the cold milk.) Add the vinegar to the milk and let it sit for a few minutes to turn into "buttermilk" - or just use real buttermilk instead!
2. For the muffins: Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, whisk the coconut oil, buttermilk, brown sugar, egg, and vanilla until smooth. Add the flours, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and allspice. Stir until just combined. Fold in the apples. Scoop the mixture into a greased or lined muffin tin - mini, regular, or jumbo sizes will all work.
3. For the topping: Melt the butter for the topping. Add the sugar and cinnamon; spoon over the tops of the muffins. You only need a little bit to get the crunchy top effect, but if y
   ou love those crunchy cinnamon sugar tops, I'd suggest making twice or three times as much topping as what's listed here.
4. Bake the muffins for 15 minutes, more or less by a few minutes depending on size. The muffins should be golden brown with big round tops that spring back when you press them.

NOTES

These are intended to be very simple without a really strong cinnamon flavor (other than the topping) - there is one teaspoon of allspice (which carries some cinnamony flavors) in the batter, but if you are looking for more than just a pinch of spice, I'd suggest adding a teaspoon of cinnamon or nutmeg to the batter.

These turned out really great.  My littlest quickly ate three of them (I always bake mine into mini muffins).  Even my middle who is my harder to please eater, enjoyed them.  Plus for me is I didn't have to bring out my mixer for them, I was able to do it all by hand.  The coconut oil only took about 45 seconds to melt in the microwave.  One Gala apple was plenty for one batch.  Wanting to avoid the extra sugar, I left the topping off.

If you make them would love to hear what you think!

Here's to a (hopeful, they may not last that long) week of muffin goodness :)

Stride Run Streak

A local store 'Strides', every December, encourages/challenges runners to run every day for the month of December.  It's become known amongst the crazies (er runners) as the Stride Run Streak.

The first I heard of it was last year, deemed it crazy, and went about regular holiday prep.  This year with a suggestion from a friend, I jumped on board.  How hard can this be to run a mile every day?

A few people would say to me "You are really going to run on Christmas Day?"  I always thought "sure why not?"  Then "oh wait, did I tell my husband that?"  Thankfully, as usual, he is more than supportive of this craziness.  Only laughing slightly when I get off the treadmill at 10:30 at night.

I've run in Banff, many times on the treadmill in front of the Christmas tree, in the afternoon with the kids around me and my two year taking photos.  I've run three times in jeans, too tired at 10pm at night to change.  Even once in pyjamas.  Once I hit Day 16, the nights I really wanted to quit, I'd tell myself "I'm over halfway, why quit now?"

I've uploaded all of my runs to Strava.  And was pretty amazed last night when I saw that this month compares pretty closely in mileage and hours, to my heaviest training month (April) leading up to the Calgary Marathon beginning of June.  In April I ran 15 hours, and 141 kilometers.  At Day 22 today I sit at 10 hours and 102.  Not too far off and still another 10 days to go.  Those miles really do add up!

There are some great things I've taken from this.  The online comraderie of other streakers on Facebook, from a community I don't normally run with as the store is down South, has been really fun.  I never thought I'd be able to run every single day in a row.  I can.  That from someone who for the past year plus, has struggled to get in three runs a week.  It's great to see what I actually have in me heading into marathon training in January.

I have a secret goal of a certain distance to finalize all of this on December 31st.  When I finish I plan on treating myself to some new run gear.  Maybe a new hat, and a new Buff.  Then I might, might, take January 1st off.  But then again, it would be a nice way to start a New Year :)

Sweet Sugar

My older brother is a vegetarian turned vegan.  He is also an ultra runner and triathlete.  He's hardcore about his body and his health, and as he has made these amazing changes, I've been turning to him for nutritional advice when stuck with a question for the kids, and now, myself.

He texted me yesterday saying he wanted to "talk about sugar".  I responded that I knew it wasn't good for us (refined), but that I had to pick my battles and sugar wasn't one of them.  We chatted a bit more back and forth, and I went about doing tasks in the house.  As I picked up toys and put away laundry I got to thinking.  Why was I so quick to say I couldn't do without sugar?  And perhaps, if it was my first instinct to say no, I really should say yes.

So I said yes.  And committed it to Facebook (heck, share the accountability and get some others on this band wagon).  So I'm going 30 days sugar free.  Yesterday at 4pm when I decided to do this, I was taking the easy sugarless train.  I was saying no to obvious sugars - candy, syrups in my lattes, things of that sort.  And I wasn't going to check labels.  But I got curious.  I was told no more than 24g of sugar a day, fruit not being counted as it is natural and has fiber.

I started looking at labels.  Curry paste last night had 1g.  Today looking at our Peanut Butter it had ICING SUGAR in it.  Seriously.  Icing sugar.  The soy version had CANE SUGAR.

And the more I delve, the more I see a real change is needed.  I could list here all the scary things about sugar, but you can quickly dig them up with a simple Google search.  I'll get you started with this link my cousin posted yesterday.

I truly thought the kids and I didn't consume much sugar.  But it appears we consume more than we even realize.  I'm not going all crazy, but I am going to start looking for alternatives in our baking, and in the products we use.  Something so prevalent in our diet that can cause heart disease and cancer?  Why would I say yes to that???

Today I've eaten a kiwi and a nectarine I know yesterday I would have passed up.  I'm already grabbing more whole food, and plan tonight to pull out my yogourt maker and get a batch started.

What are your thoughts?  Would you ever think about going sugar free?

February Review and March Forecast

As I sit here typing it is -43C outside with windchill, -23C without.  It's truly hard to believe it is March with those kinds of temperatures.  I think everyone can easily say that we are ready for Spring.  The sad truth of it though is I know Spring (trees budding, grass turning green), doesn't usually arrive until early May.  So rather than hope on Spring, I'm hoping on warmer temperatures.  Anything between 5-10C.  That should be an acheivable wish!

February was a good month, and despite being a short month, felt like a nice long one.  The Olympics in Sochi made it even better.  We are a cable free household, but I had it on daily via webcast (thanks CBC!).  One of my goals in February was to knit a birthday dress for my eldest.  That dress deserves a knit parade post all on it's own, but I'm proud to say I cast it on on February 7th while watching the Opening Ceremonies, and cast it off on February 22nd!  It was ALOT of knitting, and it took me until today to even want to knit again.  Had a bit of knitting burn out from doing THAT much knitting in such a short time frame.  It used up 6+ balls of wool!

February also had me wanting to continue working on being Facebook free.  I will say I have re-lapsed a bit, and have been logging on daily.  I am not logging on multiple times like I used to, and I haven't been posting personal statuses.  I have turned into a bit of a lurker.  I have thought about saying something, but it feels like after being "gone" for two months, your first status should be something profound - ha!  I'm ok with how much I'm on it right now, but don't want it to increase at all.

Running wise, I never did get that elusive 7K.  I realized last week while on a run, that it was the end of February, and I hadn't acheived my goal.  I thought it was 6K, so at the 5K mark kept going.  Logging on today to do this post, I saw 7K was the goal.  Boo!  I'll try again.  Sad part is I'm sure that I could have acheived that 7K that night - I felt strong!  

Also on the running front, I ran my first half marathon of the year (and the first since my eldest was 18 months, which means my first in 5 years!).  Wow.  It was bloody cold that day, but I'm proud to have finished it feeling great and in a time of 2:14.  Next race this month will be in Hawaii (yes!).  

My final "goal" for February was to try and focus on the Love Language of my eldest.  She is a bit of a mystery.  While reading the Love Language book it was really easy for me to identify the language of my middle.  I think my eldest falls into the camp of "touch" and "quality time".  This fell off my radar though in mid February (hello Olympics and the inlaws visiting from out of town).  Refocus in March!

Here's some March goals:

• knitting a surprise gift as a thank you!
• hitting that 7K straight!
• running two new long distances - 26 & 29 (eep)
• running on lava fields in Hawaii (ok this may not be a goal, but I'm excited for something new!)
• working on that quality time with my big girl
• I have a coffee budget that I'm determined to stick to this month.  WISH ME LUCK (I'm a bit of a SB Junkie).

January Review & February Forecast

Without intentionally setting down resolutions (ok I set a couple), there were a few things I started doing routinely in January.

• More often than not, I left a note for my eldest every day in her lunchbox
• I left Facebook 

I want to talk more about each of these, as they tie into (especially the first), some things I'd like to work on in February.  I love the idea of setting monthly goals, rather than year long (in my opinion) obstacles.  This way, it's a "commitment" of 30 days, not 365.  If it doesn't pan out, try again the next month (or try something new!).

The first - my husband and I before we were first married, took a course on the 5 Love Languages.  We took this as part of a Christian course.  I say this because I'm not sure if the book is Faith based (maybe it is?).  But Faith aside, I would say that knowing your, and your spouses Love Language, is great for a relationship.  I can give him as many gifts as I want.  I know he appreciates it, but it doesn't show him love.  For him to understand how much I love him, I need to speak to him in his language.  And vice versa.  So, I've been sending these notes to my big girl in her lunchbox.  For the first week, she didn't make a peep about them.  The second week I think she mentioned it once.  The wake up call for me here, was I was speaking to her in my language.  (Most people do this.  They 'love' others in their language as it is what they understand the most.  An easy way of knowing your own language, is looking how you show others that you care for them).  I knew that they came out with a Love Languages book for kids, and I decided to seek it out.  Today I was out with a girlfriend, and found a copy at a local book store.  For February, I'm going to read it, and see if I can figure out (for this first month), the love language of my eldest.  

Facebook.  Ah Facebook.  It's good for a miriad of things, but oh gosh is it also a time warp for me.  I did check in a few times near the end of January.  The first couple times it was ok.  About 10 minutes or so.  Then I started finding myself spending more and more time.  NO.  So, this continues into February.  Facebook free.  It's just not a good thing for me.  

I also want to quickly touch on my running and knitting in January.  I ran distances in January I never would have thought possible the beginning of December.  I'm especially proud of the 20K I ran just last weekend, and the 18K before that.  WOW.  I'm still running for 10 minutes, and walking 1, and am ok with that.  For short runs, I've managed to run for 6K without stopping.  I'd gradually like to see that increase to 8K.  I think for February I'll try for 7, and for March perhaps that 8.  Knitting, I finished up the sweater I've been blogging about.  Yes!  Another WIP (work in progress) off my list, and another garment to wear.  I just need to find buttons and will do a post just for the sweater (soon I hope!).

January has been good, and I'm looking forward to some new goals for February.

To recap I'm:

• Reading and focusing on the Love Language of my eldest
• Working on being Facebook free
• Running my 1st half marathon!!!
• Working on getting to 7K consistently with no walk breaks
• Starting a knit dress for my big girls upcoming Spring birthday

How was your January?  Have you set any mini goals?